The Prodigal Planet Parable

by Daniel Livingston (Luke 15:11-24 modified)

  1. Then He said: a certain Creator made humans and put them on planet earth.
  2. And the humans said: “Give us the treasures and wealth of the earth.” So He gave to them a fair country across the ocean.
  3. And not too many years after, the humans had gathered all together, and journeyed to a far country, and there wasted all the beauties of the earth with prodigal living.
  4. But when they had run out of fossil fuels, there arose severe price wars over oil, and they began to be in want.
  5. Then they went and conspired with foreign militaries causing wars and invasions, and they stole of the wealth of foreign nations.
  6. And they gladly filled their stomachs with McDonald’s burgers that had been produced on slave labour and at great environmental cost.
  7. But when they came to themselves, they said ‘How many of our fathers had bread enough to eat and to spare, and we perish with mad cow disease, terrorism and Asian bird flu?’
  8. I will arise and go to my Creator and will say to him, “God, I have destroyed the earth and humanity, and offended You.
  9. “and I am no longer worthy to be called a human or live on planet earth. Make me like one of the lower species.”
  10. And he arose and came to his God. But when he was still a great way off, God saw him and had compassion, and ran back to planet earth and fell on his neck and kissed him.
  11. And the human said to him “God I have destroyed the earth and humanity and offended You, and am no longer worthy to be called a human or live on planet earth.”
  12. But God said to his angels “Bring the best robe from heaven, and put it on him. Give him all the riches of the heavenly city, combined with a new planet.
  13. “And bring more wealth, luxury and beauty than he could ever have imagined possible, and let us have a great celebration and reunion.
  14. “For this, my human race, was destroying itself, but has now stopped looking for meaning in material wealth, and has come back to Me for life.” And for the first time in his life, the human was truly happy.